Katchup Rants

Leaving Blogger...

2012-01-18T01:15:00.000-05:00

http://myhumanadventure.tumblr.com/

new blogs

2012-01-14T11:09:00.001-05:00

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/todaysgratitudelist

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/brooklynrabbit

ugh

2012-01-05T08:47:00.000-05:00

in the midst of actively getting divorced. its kinda depressing. im having to relive a sense of failure all over again.

Xmas awesomeness:

2011-12-26T09:05:00.001-05:00

The Man was surprised by his hat.
Lady said she was just looking at a similar dress that I got her.
Young Man awoke this morning wearing the pajamas I picked out.

heroes

2011-12-24T11:58:00.001-05:00

saw a female firefighter at the supermarket today. i totally taken. i've never actually seen a uniformed firewoman. it was awesome. it's the kind of occupation that as a kid we were told we could be, but i never actually saw one so it didn't really set in. also, i feel like "they" should have made it cleared that not only are certain fields open for women, but they should have told as the history behind the opposition women experienced.

she was walking towards me and all i could say was "you look awesome." i wish i could have told her that she's my hero.

how?

2011-12-24T00:36:00.001-05:00

my aunt nett always knows when i'm calling. as she's picking up the phone i can hear her saying something along the lines that it's me calling. how does she know every time?

2011-12-21T01:11:00.000-05:00

xmas present from Nick!

ugh

2011-12-01T11:18:00.001-05:00

I'm feeling overwhelmed in an empty sort of way.

2011-11-30T20:09:00.000-05:00

Started new blog

2011-11-26T12:06:00.001-05:00

I know.... We'll see.

Family

2011-11-13T23:46:00.001-05:00

Feeling distant. Wishing certain people were closer.

Breakfast with the Colemans

2011-07-19T10:08:00.001-04:00

This is my 5th summer in Cromwell. I've always spent my first breakfast with the Colemans. They don't seem to age. As the years go by June's modest bravery and grace continues to amaze me. I imagine she is the kind of woman Meryl Streep would want to play.

Ma

2011-07-19T10:04:00.001-04:00

This is how imagine Ann when I'm home. I missed Rod's guitar playing last night.

Day 2: Markusen Road

2011-07-19T10:03:00.001-04:00

This is my favorite image of Cromwell.

Day 2: Morning Walk with the Colemans

2011-07-19T09:58:00.001-04:00

United Airlines Seating

2011-07-18T09:48:00.001-04:00

Fabric upholstered seats. I hate communal upholstered anything. It's the a 2.5 hour flight and I'm sitting in between two strangers.

Minnesota Bound

2011-07-18T09:09:00.001-04:00

At Newark Airport heading to Minnesota. Being here makes me wish I was heading to the Philippines. Makes me wish I was adventuring with Nick.

Red

2011-07-07T09:48:00.001-04:00

Just bumped into a neighborhood friend that I see once a year, I guess this was our annual visit. In addition to being fond of him for him he also happens to remind me of an old and dear friend from another lifetime. It felt like I was speaking to two Russians.

Not right.

2011-07-02T15:03:00.001-04:00

A metal restaurant umbrella fell on my head this Thursday, Chez Lucienne's in Harlem. I have felt right since. I went to the chiropractor because my neck and back ached. That was Friday. It's now Saturday and my neck is starting to hurt again and now the left side of my head is achy. It just doesn't feel quite right.

We've got a Theatre and Show Dates!

2011-06-27T23:40:00.000-04:00

I am proud to announce that my play "Undocumented" will be performing at Stage Left Studios in West Midtown on August 18th at 8pm, 19th at 8pm, and 20th at 8:30pm! Official postcard and ticket sales info coming soon.

More news: "Undocumented" will now be produced by Unboxed Voices Productions. Due to scheduling conflicts we are passing on the opportunity to perform under the PlayGround Series with Manhattan Theatre Source, therefore all production costs will be the responsibility of Unboxed Voices Productions (founded by yours truly, Katherine Chua!) Therefore, any and all contributions to our production is greatly appreciated. Please find us on Kickstarter: http://kck.st/kfKygA or send checks to "Kat Chua" and mailed to: 3536 12th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11218. Contributions can also be made through Paypal to the following account email: tomatokat@gmail.com

A special thanks to those who have made contributions to the our fundraising, you covered our down payment on the theater.

Thank you for your attention and continued support in my creative efforts to tell the stories of my community and hopefully make them live forever. I hope to see you at the show.

With Gratitude,

Kat

www.katchua.com

http://undocumented2011.wordpress.com

Find Us on FACEBOOK

twitter us @undocAplay

Play Synopsis

What happens when everything you know is about to be taken from you? What can you do when you have to leave the only place you call home? Where do you go when you get tired of hiding, but too scared to run? What do you do when you're not sure if you're a victim or a criminal? These are just some of the barriers that young undocumented immigrants must confront. In the multimedia play "Undocumented" by Katherine Chua, she highlights the inner turmoil of a girl called Frida, who has been found out by the authorities as being in the country illegally. Although she has been living in the U.S. since the age of 8 and is now 25, she will be taken from all she's ever known and deported "home" to her native country. The only light is the possibility of having the DREAM Act bill get passed by legislation. But before Frida can find solace and trust in this bill being past she must find solace, trust and forgiveness in others and most importantly herself.

"Undocumented" is an important piece to produce at this time because of the political climate around immigration reform, and more specifically on the subject of undocumented immigrant youth. After 10 years of advocacy to the get the DREAM Act Bill passed, this past February was the closest it had gotten in Congress. It was only a few votes short from getting past the to the President. Soon thereafter, the unrelenting advocacy of undocumented youth and advocates, New York State introduced the DREAM Act Bill this past March. In addition to touching on the politics around this issue, "Undocumented" gives an inside look at how a young girl comes to realize her situation and the choices available to her.

Restraint

2011-06-09T08:45:00.001-04:00

Restraint of pen and tongue is often referred to something negative; holding back from saying a critique, or sarcastic comment. This last week I have been experiencing the difficulties of restraint of pen and tongue, but with love and affection. Holding back a touch, biting one lips to trap words of care, averting ones eyes.... Although there accusations and blame cannot be tossed around, because my restraint is a choice it does not make it any easier.

Amazing

2011-05-18T15:13:00.000-04:00

Table reading of my play "Undocumented." It's the first time I'm having one of my plays produced!

Sitting since Feb

2011-05-13T23:51:00.001-04:00

She's been untouched for 3 months...

Courtesy is Contagious, and sometimes insulting.. Unless you want a seat on the train.

2011-04-27T09:17:00.001-04:00

I was on my way to work on the F-train and I was standing in front of an asian woman sitting down. She caught my eye after a few stops. She specifically offered me her seat. At first I figured she was getting off the next stop and she was "hooking up" an asian sista'. But then I noticed that she just moved to the pole and didn't get off for at least 5-6 stops. I thought it odd. And then it dawned on me "She thinks I'm pregnant! What the ---. It's this damn hippie shirt I have on! It makes me look like I'm pregnant. But pregnant isn't just about the belly. Oh my god! I've got a pregnant face?! I have to go back to the gym... "
I wanted to spring up and give my seat to someone else. Then take off my jacket and show off my tattoos and my non-pregnant strut.. But then I realized I didn't really want to give up my seat. I was quite comfortable and allergy ridden. Sitting down was what I really wanted. "Am I ok with being thought of as pregnant in trade for a seat?" I thought. I replied, "Absolutely!"
I spent the next few stops thinking of baby names.

Migraine

2011-04-22T10:02:00.001-04:00

Migraine (from the Greek words hemi, meaning half, and kranion, meaning skull[1]) is a debilitating condition characterized by moderate to severe headaches, and nausea. It is about three times more common in women than in men.[2]

The typical migraine headache is unilateral pain (affecting one half of the head) and pulsating in nature and lasting from 4 to 72 hours; symptoms include nausea, vomiting, photophobia (increased sensitivity to light), phonophobia (increased sensitivity to sound); the symptoms are generally aggravated by routine activity.[3][4] Approximately one-third of people who suffer from migraine headaches perceive an aura—unusual visual, olfactory, or other sensory experiences that are a sign that the migraine will soon occur.[5]

Initial treatment is with analgesics for the headache, an antiemetic for the nausea, and the avoidance of triggering conditions. The cause of migraine headache is unknown; the most common theory is a disorder of the serotonergic control system.

Awesome Happy Birthday

2011-04-16T22:31:00.001-04:00

thank you.

In honor of poetry month I found this little piece from 2001

2011-04-16T10:39:00.001-04:00

Coming To
Waking To Another Glass
Sweat Trickling Unto The Floor
Sprinkling My Toes, Teasing My Toes
It Was A True August In New York.
Sitting On a Kitchen Towel,
So As Not To Have My Thighs Stick Unto The Faux-Leather Stool.

Echoes Of Old Ladies Stooping It
Carried By The Breeze
Into The Place Where No One Knows My Name.

I Daydream With The Sound Track On The Radio.
The Ceiling Fans Whisk My Thoughts Away
Of The Last Time A Smile Fell Upon My Face.
Will Sleep Come Soon?
And So It Did.
Sneaking In With Sober Visions.

One Eye Still Glued
To The Bottles On The Wall
Remembering The Bitter Tangy Taste Of Liquor
On My Lips
Sweet Glorious Drunkenness-Coated With Porcupine Candy.

Blinds Of My Eyes Shutter
At Memories.

Delighted

2011-04-11T08:20:00.001-04:00

One of those days

2011-04-09T16:20:00.001-04:00

I wish I could call grandma. I wish I coulD meet up with my Tita Chit and go window shopping. I miss them.

I wanted to capture the moment.

2011-03-23T00:10:00.001-04:00

NYS introduced it's own state bill of the DREAM Act!

http://www.nysylc.org/2011/03/breaking-news/

Sick

2011-03-10T18:26:00.001-05:00

3rd day in bed. Feeling worse. My chest is heavy.

Well, so much for Glasgow...

2011-02-19T17:01:00.001-05:00

I won't have to have that hic-cup in my reality. Apparently Filipinos need a visa to go to Glasgow.

www.katchua.com

2nd International Trip in 6months...

2011-02-19T16:00:00.001-05:00

At Newark International Airport. Online to check in. Heading to Glasgow to see one of my favorite people. Nervous about putting my life here on hold.

www.katchua.com

Life's Funny Surprises

2011-02-14T09:28:00.000-05:00

It all snuck up on me. How lucky am I... Pretty darn lucky.

www.katchua.com

2011-02-09T08:14:00.003-05:00

"It's like my sadness and mania are trying to crawl out from underneath my skin."

When my mind wanders

2011-02-07T19:01:00.002-05:00

I want to be beautiful and pretty.

...

2011-02-02T09:17:00.002-05:00

I wanted to call my grandma today.

First day or kendo class

2011-01-30T15:05:00.001-05:00

The class was only 1.5hours, but I'm a little sore, my hip socket hurts and I'm ready for a nap. There are two reasons why I wanted to take the class 1) I'm exploring different forms of meditation 2) I wanted to be in a context where I know nothing and it makes sense that I know nothing and the people around know all that. I wanted to be in a place where I could practice being teachable.

Ugh

2011-01-29T19:22:00.001-05:00

I'm at an art opening for a group gallery show that I'm in and instead of being in there I'm in the back hallway because I don't feel like my work fits in the show and I didn't make the main room. I realize I'm not being grateful.

Mutiny!

2011-01-11T00:20:00.001-05:00

Arrived to a an open bathroom (sliding) door.
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Much to my

2011-01-11T00:20:00.000-05:00

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It's only Monday

2010-12-20T23:37:00.000-05:00

i've called family in the philippines two nights in a row. i can't tell if it's making me feel happy or sad. i want to experience them with all my senses. i hear their voice and i feel my body anticipating the smell of their cooking. but nothing comes. no smell of food. no feeling of the equator heat. no visions of the folds in their face when they smile. no taste of the last merienda.
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Sunday am to pm

2010-12-19T23:30:00.001-05:00

Spent a great morning with a new friend who smart, witty, fun and twelve years old.

Spent the afternoon with my awesome thirteen year old god-daughter.

Spent the evening with grown up friends who are working towards being one with God.

Spent the late evening weeping. I miss my new family. I miss their masaya.
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Stew

2010-11-29T12:03:00.000-05:00

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Tree Climbing Feet

2010-11-27T09:45:00.000-05:00

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Leaving Home to Go Home (Culminating Video of my Journey)

2010-09-15T02:06:00.003-04:00

Leaving Home to Come Home

2010-09-11T22:20:00.000-04:00

At the airport with my passport having been stamped for the first time. ... Now on the plane over the Pacific Ocean, hopefully not for the last time. With 25 more hours of travel ahead of me I'm taking my time and enjoying my moments of reflection.
I currently have no words to express what the last 6 days have been like. The thing that I do know is that it happened exactly when it was supposed to. Especially with all that has happened in this last year... all the lessons learned. It prepared me to meet my family from a different place, a place I've never been, a place of faith.

While there is so much that I experienced that I'm going to share about in the future, I wanted to share one that really just tickles me. My grandmother and Aunts had pictures of me as child and I was happy and laughing. It is evidence proving me wrong about my childhood. Today, I don't mind being proven wrong.
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Masaya means Happy

2010-09-11T17:41:00.000-04:00

My last full day with my Verendia Family was spent at Tita Net's place. Despite the fact that I fell ill, I had a great time. My migraines set in and I was clammy and feverish at different points of the day. This allowed me however to watch my family from the floor I was napping from. I really enjoyed watching them and listening to their laughter. They're so happy to be around each other. They're so affectionate and "masaya." Despite my nausea and faintness I felt so lucky. There was one point where I went into the house next door, my cousin Karen's, to rest and be closer to the restroom. I fell asleep in the living room alone and awoke a little while later to my cousins and nieces around me. They had brought their "masaya-ness" to me. In my delirium I was cheering.

Upon leaving, I shared a long hug with Tita Net. I held her in hopes that she would feel 29 years of missed hugs. I promised that I would return. I want to keep that promise.

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Meeting my Grandmother

2010-09-10T17:02:00.001-04:00

I've anticipated having to write about meeting my mother's mother for the first time. I'm nervous because I want to write beautifully and gracefully. I want to capture the events of the day and bring you and myself back to the moment. So here's my attempt:
I am sitting in my bed 9 hours after having left Nanay's home. My last image of her is of her of thin and slender frame standing as a silhouette by the entrance of her cement home. The details of her face aren't identifiable, but her posture lures curiosity; her left arm is extended to the wall on her left as though it is propping her up. She has her right hand on her mouth. I assume he is coughing, because she has been sick this week. I have a moment where I wonder if she is crying.

Six hours prior she stood at that very doorway and we met her for what I believed was for the first time. The truth is that I was in her embrace 29 years ago. Upon seeing each other she embraced me after saying "don't hug me I'm sick." I smiled and held her thin frame in my arms. She is tall and nearing frailty. I am aware that I want her to feel my presence, but I don't want to knock the wind out of her.

We spent the next several hours shifting through photographs. I find photos of me as a toddler, which I only have a handful of. I find photos of my older brother, which again I only have a handful of. I find a picture of my mother and me. It is the only picture I have seen where she is holding me. I smiled and not in secret.

For the rest of the afternoon stories were exchanged, doubts calmed, curiosities incited. I felt comfortable and at ease. I'd never felt closer to God.

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Nanay and Me

2010-09-10T17:01:00.000-04:00

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Found photo

2010-09-10T17:00:00.000-04:00

More photos available at flickr.com/katchua

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Learning about my mother Rose

2010-09-09T00:27:00.001-04:00

Her full name before marriage was Rosario Limcuando Verendia. Her nick name was versions of being fat and chubby: "taba" and "batchot". In grade-school her classmates teased her for her big wide eyes and called her "kwago", which meant owl. She went to college and studied banking. Her favorite colors were pink and red. She was the only one of her sisters with wavy hair. She was the 5th of 8 children. She played the guitar and like listening to Carly Simon. Her favorite song to sing was "killing me softly." Her father taught her karate. Her favorite fruit especially during her pregnancy was jack fruit. My favorite fruit is also jack fruit.
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Thursday Morning Adventure

2010-09-08T21:32:00.002-04:00

I was up early with the damn rooster living outside my bedroom, whose novelty is wearing off. I've not actually seen the little bugger, but every time I see one on the street I wonder if its him.
My Aunt Von came in to check up on me this early morning and offered to take a stroll around the neighborhood. We rode on a tricycle through morning traffic. (See flickr page for the video clip of that madness: flickr.com/katchua ). We walked around the market and talked politics and community social concerns. I think she's entertained by my curiosity about these subjects as opposed to wanting to shop.

Morning tricycle ride

2010-09-08T20:25:00.001-04:00

On Tricycle!

2010-09-08T20:15:00.002-04:00

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Good bye to Mauban

2010-09-08T11:13:00.002-04:00

My cousin the photographer and I caught the morning sun rise over the Mauban waters. We walked the wall by the water commonly referred to as the "seawall." After another hearty meal, it was time to say our goodbyes. I took a private moment with Tita Zeny. There's is something about her spirits that was comforting and exciting that I was taken by and I also wanted to thank her for the tour she gave the evening prior. Many good byes were exchanged with the different people staying in MaMa NingNing's house, as well as neighbors.. Mama NingNing allowed me to take 3 pictures from her photo albums: 2 of her during her days as a Municipal Councilor and one of Tita Chit in the 70's in some field. I gave Mama NingNing a long and affectionate goodbye. I whispered "salamat po," which translates to "thank you." She replied "salamatin month ang dyos, hindi ako." Meaning that I should thank God, not her. I held in tears as I hugged her, but I know she could feel it in my embrace. Before leaving Sadsaran, Mauban completely we stopped over to visit Tita Chit's grave. It was the first time I'd seen her named engraved in stone. I knelt down and cried with my new found family hovering over me. It has been 5 years since that morning when I felt her pulse stop and her hands go cold. I don't know if I will ever return to Mauban. Although the people are beautiful and I am drawn to hear their stories, I am disturbed by the poverty, both by its existence and also my relationship to it in terms of how escaped it.

Street view from terrace

2010-09-08T11:10:00.002-04:00

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More Photos available at: www.flickr.com/katchua

View from Terrace in Sadsaran, Mauban

2010-09-08T11:08:00.000-04:00

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Canal crossing to Seawall

2010-09-08T11:06:00.000-04:00

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Houses on the Canal

2010-09-08T11:04:00.000-04:00

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From the Seawall

2010-09-08T10:59:00.000-04:00

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Mama NingNing over breakfast

2010-09-08T10:56:00.000-04:00

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Tita Chit

2010-09-08T10:52:00.000-04:00

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Mauban

2010-09-08T06:13:00.001-04:00

It is Wednesday 2am and jetlag has me awake. I am in Mauban Province. A remote place 4hours south of where I was yesterday. I suppose I am what would be equivalent to being in the country. There is only one road that runs through this province. This road is narrow and cradled by a canal on each side. I assume its a ditch created to prevent or minimize flooding. There are tricycles, cats, dogs and roosters everywhere. My aunt Von and her family have been kind enough to join me on this adventure to see my fraternal great-aunt, whom I called Mama NingNing. She had cared for me as a child and was the first person I recall ever calling Mama.
As per the custom we were greeted with food: fresh fish and crabs caught earlier that day. After a hearty meal we were given a short walking tour of the area by Tita Zeny. She emphasized that the Sadsaran, Mauban was littered with descendants of De Chavez and Almiranez, the former being my grandmother's mother and the latter being my grandmother's father. Tita Zeny introduced me first as my grandmother's "apo" and then my through my father, "anak ni Goji." Later in the evening, it was time for dinner, which was a complete surprise since we had eaten about 3 hours earlier. But turning down food would be insulting. And so we ate some more the pace around me was different from what I know. Many tasks were being done but minus the haste that I'm used to. People were not slow, but they weren't in a rush. During dinner I learn that I had lived here, the very house I was in, as a child. I had a hard time imagining myself there.
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Road in Mauban

2010-09-08T06:03:00.000-04:00

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My mother's name is Rose

2010-09-08T00:16:00.000-04:00

There was a moment on my first night with my Aunt where she cupped her hands around my face, squeezed and tightened all at once, smiled and said, "Rose! There is Rose." Her eyes gleamed as though there were three of us reuniting.
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Tuesday Breakfast

2010-09-06T21:26:00.003-04:00

Despite the jetlag and the roosters i was awake and jumping about as my usual self in the morning. I had a thought that perhaps all these years my eratic and short sleep patterns was because a part of me never quite left the Philippines. Nostalgic thought huh? I also had a lot of dreams last night. For the first time in over 2 decades my dreams were in tagalog. Not all of it, but enough for me to remember.

At end of breakfast my cousin Not-Not pointed out a plate laying on a bureau. She said that it was mine. I was sure she didn't mean what she said. But Aunt Von confirmed that it was my plate she had kept from the days when my parents, brother and I lived as a family in a house in the city of angels here. I was barely a year old.

Waking up in Makati

2010-09-06T17:33:00.000-04:00

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Tuesday Morning

2010-09-06T17:31:00.001-04:00

It's 5am here and I can't sleep. In addition to the whole jet lag thing, the dogs won't stop howling and there's a rooster living outside my window. He seems to be having a conversation with another rooster down the road.
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Sept 5th, 2010

2010-09-06T17:16:00.001-04:00

Entry from a day ago: On the plane from JFK to Detroit. The morning
was an eearly start. The evening was sleepless.i didn't sleep in long
enough increments but did manage to take photos of the album. It is an
album I put together about the last 30 years of my life. i suppose io
can replicate it upon my return. The morning journey tpo JFK was
seamless.

Landing in Manila Airport

2010-09-06T13:00:00.000-04:00

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2010-09-06T10:00:00.000-04:00

On the 20th hour of my 22 hour journey. Dinner is being served on the plane. I look out the window. It is completely dark, except for the NorthStar.
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En route to Japan

2010-09-06T05:12:00.000-04:00

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Take-off from Detroit

2010-09-06T05:08:00.001-04:00

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Leaving Detroit

2010-09-06T05:08:00.000-04:00

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Japan! @ 4am NYC time.

2010-09-06T05:07:00.001-04:00

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The Pacific Ocean

2010-09-06T05:07:00.000-04:00

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Big plane

2010-09-05T15:47:00.000-04:00

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Airport

2010-09-05T15:35:00.000-04:00

Before entering the plane the passengers are escorted into a large room-like corridor. We enter like salmon up stream, but bottle-necked soon enough. Men in dark blue uniforms interrogate us. "What's the reason for your visit?" The man asks me. "I'm visiting my grandmother ," I tell him. "How much money do you have with you?" His eyes travel over my cleavage to my shoulder tattoo. "Two hundred dollars," I reply. "Are you carrying money for someone else?" I squint my face and give a confused "No." As I'm given the go and directed to follow the sign to "economy" I pass an older Filipino woman squatted in the middle of the corridor hovering over an open suitcase. A man in a dark uniform is hovering her holding a large wad of american bills. He is holding it like one would hold dead flowers. I continue to walk past, careful not to stare, in fear of inciting curiosity upon myself. My last image of this woman, who resembled my grandmother before the wheelchair, was of her on the floor looking up at the man in uniform with the bills limp in his hand. I wonder to myself, "why have they chosen not to have tables in this room."
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From wonderful to mesmerizing.

2010-07-15T14:26:00.000-04:00

Life has showered me with million surprises. I want to return the favor.

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2010-06-26T09:50:00.000-04:00

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2010-06-26T09:36:00.000-04:00

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Wispy moon

2010-06-25T00:00:00.000-04:00

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Why do I feel like I belong up there...

2010-06-14T23:01:00.000-04:00

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Democracy by Langston Hughes

2010-05-25T22:59:00.000-04:00

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My album cover

2010-05-20T11:24:00.001-04:00

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May 2nd 2010

2010-05-02T20:19:00.000-04:00

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Doc Day Afternoon

2010-04-29T13:51:00.001-04:00

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2010-04-20T10:01:00.000-04:00

I'm ready to stop mourning my life.
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First day back! Feels like home.

2010-04-07T09:31:00.000-04:00

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2010-04-06T22:24:00.000-04:00

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IMG01367-20100403-0842.jpg

2010-04-03T08:43:00.001-04:00

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Cancer

2010-04-02T15:13:00.000-04:00

How does one prepare
A heart,
The heart?
Minutes pass
Like days and
Days are gone like years.
Time won't take a side.
Understanding must come last.
And what of love
Can be drawn?
How does one let go
And hold on?
Alternately,
At the same time,
neither.
How does one prepare
Another's heart
That is also theirs.
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My life in the East Village

2010-03-29T23:24:00.000-04:00

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Tree

2010-03-29T23:21:00.000-04:00

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Hudson Line

2010-03-26T18:40:00.001-04:00

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To school they go.

2010-02-25T22:03:00.000-05:00

This reminded me of when my grandfather used to walk me to school.
2nd grade, 3rd grade, and part 4th. I asked him to stop when I got to 5th grade. A part of me wishes I hadn't. It has been 15 years since he died, I still miss him.
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2010-02-22T10:29:00.001-05:00

I fell into a pattern, one of my patterns, without even knowing it. It's difficult to explain where to start, partly because it feels like there were several beginnings, and it was over before it ended.
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Patterns

2010-02-22T10:20:00.001-05:00

Patterns
Are necessary in sewing.
Patterns maintain,
Match,
Keep the seams together.
Patterns are comfortable.
Patterns are predictable;
It is it's purpose.
Patterns entertain the eyes
And make lazy as well.
Patterns keep on going
Even when it is over.
What happens when the pattern
Is broken?
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Ode to O'Keeffe

2010-02-18T20:54:00.000-05:00

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